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Tell 'Em What They Want to Hear
from
A Carol's Christmas

Think Ursala the Sea Witch from The Little Mermaid...

VARRONIQUE: Dear Mister Haywood, I have seen a vision—
There could be trouble in the end.
Before you render any rash decision,
You should consult your Psychic Friend.
(Fortunately, that would be me.)

Varronique, are you conjuring a scheme
That would be every corporate raider’s dream?
I can tell the wheels are churning in that busy little brain.
Could it be that you seek monetary gain?

I admit — when envisioning the future,
I’ve no ability to see beyond my nose.
But the powers that I lack are made up for by my knack
For manipulating corporate CEOs.
(This is a con?  Oh, do go on!)

I simply tell 'em what they want to hear,
Play upon their deepest fear,
Whisper secrets in their ear to guide them.
It’s easier than stealing baby’s candy.
I just keep a stellar explanation handy.
It’s written in the stars.
Your moon will take you far.
The alignment of your sign and Mars are dandy.
I keep 'em in my sights and when the timing’s right,
I tell 'em what they want to hear.

Varronique, I can see that you’re a genius.
But I don’t think that you’re telling all you know.
I still don’t understand how your orchestrating hand
Will serve to fill your bank accounts with dough.
(You’d like to hear?  Of course, my dear.)

I buy a little stock,
Keep it under lock,
Then after they announce the merge, I put it on the block
And when the Wall Street bulls go on a rampage,
The market shift will work to my advantage.
(A hundred grand drops in my hand.)

I simply tell 'em what they need to know,
Wait a couple weeks or so,
Then walk in to collect my dough and cash in.
So, if you’re planning any large transaction,
I can make sure it will meet my satisfaction.
I’ll pull a couple strings,
Mumble mystic things,
Then decide the perfect time to spring to action.
I love my grand career!
This will be my banner year
Because I tell 'em what they want to hear!

1996 Ross D. Martin, MD, MHA

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