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IT Man

I work for the world's largest pharmaceutical organization in a department called Business Technology or BT.  I figured it would be fun to write a song for one of our off-site departmental conferences and wrote BT Man.  Threw together a rough cut demo and sent it off to a few of the higher ups.  Everyone seemed to like it, but there were these issues.  First there was this issue about the independent tone of the message - we're more about team building, yada, yada.  Then I hadn't depicted my female colleagues in a sufficiently positive light - they didn't get equal time.  Then there was the question about the way the song made BT appear more tactical than strategic.  Then... well, you get the idea.  It seems that big companies sometimes take themselves a little too seriously.  So I never ended up doing it at one of our meetings.  However, some of my international BT colleagues got hold of the demo and apparently played it at more than one of their European meetings where irony is held in higher regard. 

Seemed a waste of a good song, so I made it a little more generic and have since performed it in a number of geekfest-type venues to a great response.

You're workin' on a project and your colleagues all berate it
They say to make the grade you're gonna have to automate it
But you don't have a clue about the Internet at all
You couldn't tell a portal from a hole in the wall
You wallow in despair - when in walks a dude
Packin' a Palm and a tech attitude
He says, "If you're goin' Digital, I have the plan
I'm a cyber-superhero - the IT Man"

He whips out his BlackBerry - taps a key or two
And says, "Put your mind at ease - I know just what to do
You'll find me workin' where business and technology meet
I cruise the Information Superhighway beat
Your deadline's not a problem I can promise you that
I can help you get connected in no time flat
We'll plan, build and implement and then you'll be set
When your talkin' automation, IT Man's your best bet - ‘cause…

CHORUS
You can call a grease monkey to fix your radiator
If you need to slay a lion - better call a gladiator
If you gotta lift a boulder, Superman's your guy
And call Double-Oh-Seven if you're needin' a spy
But if you want to work faster, cheaper, smarter you know
There's only one place I'm sayin' that you want to go
To get down to business with technology
Forget about them others - call the Man from IT

BRIDGE
If your system's on the fritz - we'll fix it on the fly -
Me'n my trusty sidekick - the PC Guy
That hacker starts attackin' you from cyberspace
Have no fear!  Cyberwoman's on the case – ‘cause…

REPEAT CHORUS
[last line: Forget about them others – call the Woman from IT]

You get set, "go live" and watch the data come in
It doesn't take long to know you've got a Big Win
You search your new database and see your numbers soar
Your boss is smilin' wide - you couldn't ask for more
You get kudos and congratulations from everyone
You say, "Thanks, IT Man, for all that you've done"
He says, "Shucks, it wasn’t nothin' - you needn't thank me
It's just another day for the Man from IT - ‘cause…"

REPEAT CHORUS

I said to get down to business with technology
Call the plugged-in, pixelated, powered-up, automated,
Hard-drivin', strategizin’, Sequel-servin’, synchronizin’,
Firewired, databased, webified, interfaced,
Just-in-time IT Man

2004 Ross D. Martin, MD, MHA

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