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Fast Company
From
A Carol's Christmas

MR. PIERSON: It’s eight-oh-two and though the day has just begun I’m already late.
The day is filled with meetings and I simply have too much on my plate.
The stress is overwhelming, but if I don’t keep pace,
The guy that’s right behind me will step into my place.

[JOHN RAFFERTY is right behind him, ready to pounce.]

RAFFERTY: I may be at the bottom, but I’ve got my focus right on the top.
I don’t care what it takes to make it up there 'cause I’m not gonna stop.
You’ve got to pay your dues because success isn’t free.
To make it in this business you keep fast company.

CHORUS: Fast company, fast company —
To make it in this business you keep fast company.

[The Security Guard enters. He casually walks to center stage and BLOWS a whistle.]

GUARD: DOWNSIZE!

[The Guard wanders off as the Office Workers scurry around — half of them are handed pink slips, including Mr. Pierson. They take their cubicles off stage as they exit. Rafferty waves good-bye to Mr. Pierson and laughs. An ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT and a RECEPTIONIST signal each other to have a quick gossip conference over a cubicle wall.]

ASSISTANT: I heard another rumor that they’re going to make more cuts from the staff.
RECEPTIONIST: And I just heard the CEO’s about to cause another blood bath.
BOTH: It may be just a rumor, but still most would agree,
You’ve got to keep a heads up in a fast company.

CHORUS: Fast company, fast company —
You’ve got to keep a heads up in a fast company.

[The Guard wanders in again and blows his whistle.]

GUARD: MERGER!

[New Workers pour in from both sides of the stage, bringing their cubicles in. Mr. Pierson is back and he eyes Rafferty. The stage is even more crowded than before. The Guard exits.]

CHORUS: One day we’re making cutbacks and the next one we’ve just doubled in size.
You think you have a clue then upper management keeps doling out lies.
Just what the future holds is a complete mystery —
No telling what can happen in a fast company.

Fast company, fast company —
No telling what can happen in a fast company.

[The Guard enters and blows his whistle.]

GUARD: REORG!

[The workers rush around like they’re doing a Chinese fire drill. The Receptionist ends up at Mr. Pierson’s desk. The Guard exits.]

CHORUS: We’re just pieces in a corporate pie.
It’s a job — we have to do it or die.
We just put our time in every day.
There’s no chance to do it any other way.
The story of this modern day is easy to see —
The rules are always changing in a fast company.
Fast company, fast company —
The rules are always changing in a fast company!

1999 Ross D. Martin, MD, MHA

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